Oh, this grieving is such lonely, hard work. It would be so nice to have someone come and just cry with me. But I don't do very well with crying when there are people around.

We did not do a good job of grieving our loss when Kris and Jason and Leona all died within one and half years. It was just too much to deal with. And everybody keeps saying God does not make mistakes. He won't give you more than you can handle. But we have been given more than we can handle. That is the truth of the matter.

When Lazarus died both of his sisters asked Jesus, "Where were you when our brother died?"

I'm listening to a CD right now that has the song on it, "One day at a time, Sweet Jesus." Yesterday is gone, tomorrow may never be mine. " That reminded me of when that song was sung at a ladies meeting just before Renee was born.

Oh, God, I miss Renee so much, but I'm so thankful that we were blessed to have her in our family, for all the good memories.

Now I got myself a terrible headache from crying so much. Please, help me God to get through this terrible agony. Thank you for the assurance of the promise that you will never leave us or forsake us.