Gut Wrenching Pain

Even although it might look on the outside that we are doing "fine", on the inside there is heart wrenching pain, or gut wrenching pain.

It is never a good idea to ask somebody who has recently been torn apart from a family member by death, "How are you?" Human being are so complex, that you can't answer a question like that with a simple "fine" or "good". Even although you might be doing fine spiritually and physically, you are probably not doing so great emotionally and then there is the grieving stupor, that prevents you from connecting a lot of your thoughts one to the other. That it makes it difficult to accomplish even the simplist of tasks. In that department I'm doing a lot better than at first, but it is still pretty crazy sometimes. Especially since we have these two strands of grief that are threatening to choke us, the grief of losing a big chunk of our business and the grief of losing our daughter. It is hard to tell apart which emotions are related to which grief. Oh, it is all so crazy. Oh God! Keep me from drowning in my grief.

I want to post my tribute to Renee that I did in Vancouver, but I have not had the energy to do that. And I don't if it would be helpful.