this got the tears going

So many questions and so many tears. It’s Not What You Think icca Monda Campbell

“‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the LORD.’” Isaiah 55:8 (NIV)

When the phone rang in the middle of the night, I couldn’t help but wonder if one of my greatest fears had become a reality. It was the police. They were calling to tell us my 21-year-old son had fallen asleep at the wheel while driving home from a friend’s house.

Mitch was only four months old when his biological father died. Since then, I’ve have had two fears; that my son’s life would be greatly affected by the loss of his father and that he would die young, too.

When Mitch was four, one of those fears was relieved. God brought Pat into our lives, filling the role of both father and husband.

Like any good father, Pat is a wonderful man who supports his family in the good times and bad. This night things were bad. When Pat arrived at the scene, he found our son’s demolished car hugging the mangled 50 foot guardrail that had kept him from crossing the highway into oncoming traffic.

Mitch, however, didn’t suffer a single scratch, bruise, or broken bone — not one. His dad was stunned, but the police officer was astonished even more. In fact, the officer had this to say to our son.

“If I were you, I wouldn’t go home and go to bed. I’d go to the nearest church and thank God for saving your life because He obviously has a purpose for it.” It was as if God was speaking directly through the officer. Pat drove Mitch home in silence. The police officer had said it all. What more could he add?

Sunday afternoon, we drove to the junkyard to retrieve Mitch’s personal belongings from the car. The first thing I noticed about the damaged vehicle was the date, 9-9, painted in large orange numbers across the windshield of the mangled car.

That’s when it hit me. Mitch’s accident occurred on the anniversary of his biological father’s death. Stranger still, they were exactly the same age. As my eyes fixed on the date, I realized it was a message from God — an undeniable clear sign from above. Mitch was in the hands of God.

That truth pierced my mind and Satan’s lie was broken. I was no longer afraid of losing my son to death.

God has a different plan for Mitch than he had for his dad. I always knew that truth intellectually but, that day in the junkyard, it became a reality. How could I doubt God anymore when my son walked away from a near death experience on the anniversary of his father’s death? I couldn’t.

Regardless of my doubts and fears, God has a plan. Usually it doesn’t look like mine. This experience reminded me that my thoughts are not the same as God’s thoughts. He sees the bigger picture. He knows His plans. It also taught me to fall on my knees and relinquish all my fears to God while trusting in His good and perfect will for my children.

You see, the only power and control you and I have over any fearful thought is to place it in the hands of God. Doing so keeps us from being taunted day and night by “what if?” Instead, we can rest in the assurance that God’s thoughts, ways and plans are more marvelous than anything we can imagine ourselves.

Dear Lord, help me to see my circumstances through your eyes and not mine. Teach me that your ways are good and marvelous and they can be trusted. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Fleeing to Him

The Our Daily Bread devotional for today was on Psalm 55:6 "Oh, that I had the wings of a dove! I would fly away and be at rest." So many times in the last three, four years, actually almost all forty years that we have been married, as we have faced incredible amounts of pain, pressure, hardship, injustice and grief, I have wished I could sprout wings and fly away. But the writer says that Jesus offers a better way. "Rather than fleeing our struggles, he invites us to to flee to Him. He said, 'Come to Me, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me... and you will find rest for your souls.'(Matthew 11:28-29). Rather than wishing we could fly away and escape life's problems, we can bring them to Him."

I need to remind myself of this again and again. It seems like my brain got fried with all the stress and grief and I am so forgetful.

The pain and grief has been so overwhelming. The pain came at us from so many different levels. Why? Why? Why? I need to keep clinging to the promises in God's Word. Some days I feel like I will go crazy. The choice is will I let it break me or make me stronger.

Silent Grief - Child Loss Support:

When our child dies, we no longer know who we are. It's like beginning life all over again....only this time we have to change our identity in a way we never wanted to change. Finding our new self is not easy!

New Hearts and Bleeding Hearts

"The entry way to your next chapter will not come to you by attempting the impossible of picking up the pieces of your shattered life. Or by looking at what was in the same glance as you look at what will be.

Please let the hope of bringing back what you once had GO...and start by thinking of a new life unlike anything you have ever had before.

Think of your self as having the ability to hold two hearts inside your body.Your new heart beats faster and with more passion, but not until you start stepping into your new self and identity.

The only way you can do that is by doing something that your old heart could have never done.

And that is how you will give birth to the new beat of your life."

Trading Fierce Independence

This blog from Proverbs 31 Ministry was so good that I thought I should post it here. I hope they don't mind.

However, it seems like some problems we have to keep to ourselves and are not free to talk about. But if you feel led to do so, you can pray for our family. Praying for anybody who might read this that we will all be ready to meet the King of Kings, our beautiful Saviour, Prince of Peace and glorious Lord.

Trading Fierce Independence Glynnis Whitwer

“Elisha said, ‘Go around and ask all your neighbors for empty jars. Don’t ask for just a few.’” 2 Kings 4:3 (NIV 2011)

Problems. I prefer to keep them to myself. Being fiercely independent, my instinct is to slam the cellar door shut at the first sign of high winds. In other words, no one’s getting in until the storm is past. I’ll let God in, no problem. But you — I keep out.

Over the years, God has challenged me on this independent approach, calling it was it is: pride.

It’s not overt arrogance, but by keeping others at a distance, it implies I’m all-sufficient and don’t need your help. Plus, the insecure little girl in me worries that if you see weakness in my life, you’ll question my competency. As so, I’ve kept to myself, creating a prideful façade of control.

That didn’t work very well, however. Repeatedly, God has called me to a place of greater interdependence with others. He’s worked miracles in my life when I’ve humbly asked for prayer. He’s broken down walls of distance when I’ve allowed people to see the real me. I’ve seen His hand move at the request of my godly friends.

It’s now obvious to me God designed us to work together. We are pieces of the same puzzle, and life makes more sense when we are connected.

There’s a story in the Old Testament that shows God’s plan for interdependence. It’s found in the book of 2 Kings and concerns a widow who had a big problem. She needed resources, but the coin jar was empty. Her husband died, leaving her with no means of support, and a pile of debts she couldn’t pay. Creditors demanded restitution. Since there was no money, they planned to take her children as slaves.

Desperate, she sought help from Elisha, a man known to be set apart for God. Elisha asked her to do something unusual: go to all her neighbors and request empty jars … lots of them. Then, she was to return home, take what little oil she had left and pour it into the jars.

The widow did as Elisha instructed. When she returned home, she started pouring. As each jar filled, her sons brought her another. They filled every borrowed jar with oil. Elisha then told her to sell the oil, pay the creditors and live off the rest. She did.

What I love about this story is that the quantity of the miracle oil was in direct proportion to the number of neighbors she asked for help. If she had asked five neighbors, that’s how much oil she would have had. Ten neighbors meant ten jars. And so on. The more people the widow asked for help, the greater God’s provision.

There’s another part of the story not told by the Bible passage, but I can’t help but wonder if it happened. At some point, the widow would have returned the borrowed jars. When she did, I imagine she would have told each neighbor what God had done for her, and how that neighbor played a part in the miracle. What a testimony that must have been!

God could have worked a miracle in any way, but He chose to involve each member of that little neighborhood. I imagine they were never the same after being part of something so amazing.

This story speaks clearly to me. God often plans to meet my needs through others. Yet if I keep my problems to myself, I might hinder His plan to bless my friends and broadcast His faithfulness. I’m learning to deny the lies of a prideful spirit in exchange for a humble plea for help. I’m trading my fierce independence for God’s plan of community.

Dear Lord, forgive me for the times I’ve kept to myself, believing I have everything necessary to solve my problems. In doing so, I may have missed Your plan for meeting my needs through others. Help me to identify pride and submit it to You. Help me to have a humble and teachable spirit. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

In God's Hands

Today is in God's hands and so are you.

His hands are strong and will uphold you;
His hands are great and will enfold you;
His hands are gentle and will embrace you;
His hands are protective and will cover you;
His hands are reassuring and will quiet you;
His hands are powerful and will defend you;
His hands are parental and will train you;
His hands are masterful and will conform you;
His hands are compassionate and will care for you;
His hands are healing and will renew you;
His hands are calming and will comfort you;
His hands are giving and will bless you.

The hands that hold you will never let you down.

-Roy Lessin, DaySpring co-founder and writer

I came across this really good piece today. It got me thinking, not that I don't do that all the time.

Being forced to go closer to death

than I ever wanted to for the third time, fourth time, fifth time.

My first born son in 1977 at age three, an older sister died by suicide in 1978 at age 29,

second son in 1979 at age 8 months, oldest daughter in 2008 at age 23. My dad at age 70.

Too much death, but we will all die. The death rate remains the same, no matter at what age, but

we were not meant to die. Death came as the result of sin. God has a plan whereby we can be assured that we will live with him, to "dwell in the house of the Lord forever".

Heavy
That time I thought I could not go any closer to grief without dying
I went closer, and I did not die. Surely God had His hand in this,
as well as friends. Still, I was bent, and my laughter,
as the poet said, was nowhere to be found.
Then said my friend Daniel(brave even among lions),
"It's not the weight you carry but how you carry it -
books, bricks, grief - it's all in the way you embrace it,
balance it, carry it when you cannot, and would not,
put it down."
So I went practicing. Have you noticed? Have you heard
the laughter that comes, now and again, out of my
startled mouth? How I linger to admire, admire,
admire the things of this world that are kind, and maybe
also troubled - roses in the wind,the sea geese on the
steep waves, a love to which there is no reply?

- by Mary Oliver

Our Greatest Need

If our greatest need had been information,
God would have sent us an educator.

If our greatest need had been technology,
God would have sent us a scientist.

If our greatest need had been money,
God would have sent us an economist.

If our greatest need had been pleasure,
God would have sent us an entertainer.

But our greatest need was forgiveness,
so God sent us a Saviour.

-Roy Lessin

Not Finished Yet

We need a new button, t-shirt, bumper sticker, or cap that reads...NFY! It stands for Not Finished Yet!

Regardless of the label people put on you (senior, baby-boomer, retired person), regardless of the number of birthdays you've celebrated, you are still here. And as long as you are here, you are not there, and as long as you are not there, it means God still has a purpose for you here.

When Jesus was on the cross, the last thing He said was, "It is finished." After He made that statement He died. When is God's purpose for you on this earth finished? It is finished when you die... until then, you are not finished yet! NFY!

Does the thought of getting older discourage you or make you fearful? Consider these words the Lord spoke to Isaiah: I will be your God throughout your lifetime--until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. Isaiah 46:4 NLT

By Roy Lessin, DaySpring co-founder and writer.

Just Think

Just Think,
You’re not here by chance,
but by God’s choosing.
His hand formed you
and made you the person you are.
He compares you to no one else
– you are one of a kind.
You lack nothing that His grace can’t give you.
He has allowed you to be here at this time in history
to fulfill His special purpose for this generation.

By Roy Lessin

Courage

I eagerly expect and hope
that I will in no way be ashamed,
but will have sufficient courage
so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body,
whether by life or by death.
Philippians 1:20

Amazing God Indescribable... Amazing God... All Powerful... The awesome God who created the universe also cares about every detail of your life! God's love is meteoric, His loyalty astronomic. Psalm 36:5 The Message

THE BRICK

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighbourhood
street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for
kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he
thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared.
Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door! He slammed
on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick
had been thrown.

The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid
and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, 'What was that all
about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing?
That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost
a lot of money. Why did you do it?'

The young boy was apologetic. 'Please, mister., please, I'm sorry but
I didn't know what else to do,' He pleaded. 'I threw the brick because
no one else would stop...' With tears dripping down his face and off
his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. 'It's
my brother, 'he said 'He rolled off the curb and fell out of his
wheelchair and I can't lift him up.'

Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, 'Would you please
help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy
for me.'

Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly
swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy
back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and
dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him
everything was going to be okay.

'Thank you and may God bless you,' the grateful child told the
stranger.

Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy push his
wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home.

It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was
very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented
side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message:

'Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at
you to get your attention!' God whispers in our souls and speaks to
our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to
throw a brick at us. It's our choice to listen or
not.

_Thought for the Day:_

If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.
If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.
He sends you flowers every spring.
He sends you a sunrise every morning.
Face it, friend – He’s crazy about you!

Send this to every 'beautiful person' you wish to bless.

God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow,
sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day,
comfort for the tears, and light for the way.

Read this line very slowly and let it sink in...

The Message of the Rooster

The rooster is dependable.
He is persistent.
He is not protesting the fact
that he has to do the same thing every day
of his life.
He has a good message to proclaim,
"A new day has dawned,
and with it come opportunities and
responsibilities."

Money Buys a House

Money buys clothes, but not character,
Money buys a house, but not a home,
Money buys medicine, but not health and life.
Money buys company, but not friends,
Money buys beauty aids, but not beauty,
Money buys entertainment, but not happiness.
Money buys respect, but not an entrance to heaven.

Is God Enough?

Is God Enough?

Melissa Taylor

"And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19 (NIV)

Is God enough? It's a question that my life circumstances force me to keep going back to. What I've concluded is that not only is God enough, but He has to be enough. I've also concluded that it takes effort on my part to keep myself aware of this.

As a young child, I didn't realize my need for God, but I did realize that I had a need that was not fulfilled. I was sexually abused when I was seven years old. My dad left our family when I was eleven. Both circumstances left me devastated, and I didn't understand how God could bring healing at that time. I spent many years trying to heal myself and make myself feel better. Nothing worked.

As I grew older and began to move from being a Christian who simply believed to a Christian who was actively involved with Jesus, my life began to change. Because I was having conversations with Him directly and reading His Word consistently, my life was challenged. I learned that when the hard knocks came, and they would, I needed to ask myself one question in order to move on. "Is God enough?"

When a friend betrays me, is God enough? When I need to forgive someone for something that seems unforgivable, is God enough?

When my child is having issues that are out of my control, is God enough? When my marriage is on the brink of destruction, is God enough?

When I am not forgiven by another person, is God enough?

When my mother is dying of cancer, is God enough?

When others don't recognize my value, is God enough?

When I am struggling professionally, is God enough?

When someone I love uses words to hurt me, is God enough?

When I am in debt and don't know how I'll pay my bills, is God enough?

When I am reminded of something I did in the past, is God enough?

When the world is in turmoil, is God enough?

When my health is declining, is God enough?

When I am let down and disappointed in my life, is God enough?

Just last night, I sat in my room crying. Here I was again asking, "Is God enough?" I opened a box full of personalized Bible verses that someone very special gave to me. I began reading them out loud to myself. Verse by verse, I began combating the thoughts that were paralyzing me with self doubt. What I discovered is the conclusion I always come to when I ask myself "Is God enough?" Yes He is.

I could lose everything in life. There's not anything I have here on earth that is guaranteed. If I lost it all though, I'd be okay because no one can take away my identity in Christ. Whether I live in a mansion on a hill or a shack in the swamp, I have my Jesus. Whether the world is for me or against me, I have my Jesus. When I am knocked down, I get on my knees and there I find my Jesus. His Word is planted deep in my heart and I believe it all.

When life becomes more than you think you can handle, don't quit. And certainly don't believe the lies you may be entertaining in your head. Instead, ask yourself, "Is God enough for me?" The answer could change everything.

Dear Lord, help me to realize that the secret to being content in all circumstances is You. Help me to be aware of Your presence in my life at all times. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Jesus Is the Treasure
Day 362

"When it comes to heaven itself," says Dr. Richard Bewes, "all eyes will be on the throne."

All the benefits of heaven that you have read about so far are awesome, but they pale in insignificance to the real treasure in heaven, which is Jesus Christ himself.

Joni Eareckson Tada says, "So many people think of heaven as a place, but really it's a Person. Jesus, who is at the very center of heaven, is what makes it exciting to me. We have something like a homing detector in our hearts, and it's just not ringing for earth. It's ringing for Him in whom our deepest longings will be answered.

"So heaven is not just a place; it is a Person, that Individual for whom we were made. What makes heaven exciting to me is being with the Lord Jesus where I will be perfectly and utterly at home."

You will marvel at Jesus someday, and His very name will cause you to bow down on your knees in reverence and honor.

"On the day he comes to be glorified in his holy people and to be marveled at among all those who have believed. This includes you, because you believed our testimony to you" (2 Thessalonians 1:10).

"At the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth" (Philippians 2:10).

Teach me to love You, Lord. Show me how to place You at the forefront of my life and my thoughts so that I may experience a touch of heaven. Amen

The Lord's Good Plan

Some favorite verses from Isaiah 53:
¹⁰ But it was the Lord’s good plan to crush him
and cause him grief.
Yet when his life is made an offering for sin,
he will have many descendants.
He will enjoy a long life,
and the Lord’s good plan will prosper in his hands.
¹¹ When he sees all that is accomplished by his anguish,
he will be satisfied.
And because of his experience,
my righteous servant will make it possible
for many to be counted righteous,
for he will bear all their sins.

So thankful that God made it possible for us to be counted righteous
by coming to earth as a human to be made an offering for our sin.

A Promise Kept

"Ours is a day of passionate pursuit of self-fulfillment and the folk wisdom of 20th century America holds that fulfillment can only be found in freedom. So if some responsibility or commitment, some relationship or value shackle, you have a moral obligation to yourself to break free.

But it is a fantasy. That doorway to freedom and fulfillment may turn out to be the doorway to a stronger imprisonment. Only the one who says no to self-interest for Christ and the gospel cause can ever find the treasure of true life - freedom and fulfillment in Christ. but we don't get it."

This is from a book: "A Promise Kept" by Robert McQuilkin.

The Whisper of God Thought for the Day: "Sometimes we need to be broken down so we can be built back up again. It is during the times we feel we are being broken down that we need to trust that God will rebuild us into something more glorious than we could have ever imagined." Have a fantastic day today my friends!- Elmer Laydon

Memory and Pain

We arrived home yesterday from our family trip to Europe, minus three out of five pieces of our checked luggage. One night we stayed at a castle near Salzburg that used to be run by a Bible college. They still had quite a few books that they were selling at a reduced price. Two of them that I have started reading are "The Pursuit of God" by A. W. Tozer and "Prayers Plainly Spoken" by Stanley Hauerwas.

His prayers have a profound simplicity. He would agree with what Timothy Keller said that God understands the language of our pain. Hauerwas in the introduction to his book says, "I figured God could take it, because God did not need to be protected."

I'd like to share one of the prayers, "Memory and Pain".

Crucified Lord, your creation is full of pain. Our lives are filled with pain. We must appear happy, to be OK, to others and ourselves. After all, we know no likes to be around people in pain. So we cannot even be around ourselves. We refuse to remember because memory is just another name for pain - dull, meaningless pain that makes us numb. but you would have us be a passionate people, filled with the Spirit, possessed by memory. We fear that if we remember, the pain will return and kill our present. Give us courage, which is just another name for friends, to stare down the terror in our own and our neighbour's lives, that we may be your joyous people. Amen.

I also wanted to share some things from the message I listened to this morning.
The problem is not with the God of the universe, but with us.
If it was not for the grace and forgiveness of God, we could not survive.
He inflicts wounds that heal, wounds that are for our good and for his glory.
God can give us joy in our suffering.
This was from the series on the book of Habakkuk from www.redeemer.com.

The Whisper of God Thought for the Day: “We all start off like lumps of clay. Just like a potter, God kneads and molds us until we begin to take shape. Sometimes we lose the shape He tries to give us and He needs to start over. Nevertheless, God keeps working until we become one of His beautiful masterpieces.” Have a fantastic day today everyone! – Elmer Laydon